Thanksgiving is just a week away, and that means for most of us there will be a lot of things to do before the turkey hits the table.

For those hosting the Thanksgiving meal, there are menus to make; provisions to stock; place settings to arrange and for the more industrious, decorations to devine. For those who are traveling, there are routes to run, even if it’s just to Grandma’s house and we’ve memorized the way some time ago.

A lot of us have started making our lists already. Things we want, things we will need, things to do. While we recognize that any successful effort begins with a list, usually organized by workflow, priority or due date, it’s a given that some are better at making lists than others. I’m of the “others” category, my idea of an event is more “grab-and-go,” or “let’s see what happens.”

My oldest daughter, meanwhile, has already made a list of the lists she has yet to make. She’s organized, and I am not. Perhaps she’s learned that by observing me, over time.

I’m aware, however, of one list that she maybe hasn’t thought of, that’s especially relevant to this holiday. If I don’t get all the ingredients to pumpkin pie just right, I can do this and then the rest of the chips can fall where they may. I’ve already started on it, it’s the first thing that I’ve got to do.

And so, I ask you, have you made your gratitude list yet?

Some of us may already know how to write one. Typically, the ones used to making a gratitude list every day; some five or 10 things they think about every morning that helps set them up for the day ahead, clarifies their minds and helps with focus on the day’s priorities. Those folks also keep a gratitude journal, to keep track of the order of their lives.

Modern life encourages us to do, be and chase more. We compare our lives with that of others. We complain about things, wish we had something else and end up feeling frustrated, resentful and envious. But by regularly practicing gratitude, we can focus on what we have, instead of what we have not. By reflecting on the positive, we’re more likely to tend to and nurture them. 

A regular gratitude practice encourages you to focus on what you have, instead of what you have not. And, when you begin to reflect on the positive things, you’re more likely to tend to and nurture them. In the words of inspirational author Neil Barringham, “Instead of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, it’s more a case of the grass is greener where you water it.” 

Making a list

Start by grabbing a piece of paper and just brainstorm. Come up with things you’re thankful for in your life, and write them down. Since this list is just for you, be as specific, personal and genuine as you can. If 10 things gets to be too difficult, try starting with three. Maybe you are grateful that a friend brought over some soup when you weren’t feeling your best. Maybe some kids shoveled your walk for you when it snowed, or raked your leaves when they fell. Maybe a favorite pet gives you comfort.

Maybe yesterday was an especially good day. Maybe you got a card in the mail from a distant friend or family member.

Don’t worry about spelling or grammar, this is your list and getting a thought down as you’re thinking it is what’s important. There’s time to make corrections later, if you’re going to add them to your journal.

Better with practice

If the first time is hard, the next time will be easier. Start with once a week and then strive for more. With practice, you’ll find your list will get longer, more detailed and long-form. If you’re not a note-taker or letter-writer, “there’s an app for that, too.”

Share with friends

Good friends can help. If you already get together once a week at the coffee shop or wherever, you can check each other’s progress. You can add an inspirational quote to your list and then start a discussion if you want. There’s no wrong way to do it, so long as you progress. Admittedly, some days will be harder than others, but an easy one will come along, and that’s something to be grateful about as well.

A gratitude list helps to combat anxiety, depression, or any struggle in life. Looking ahead to making the next day’s list brings hope. While things don’t always go as planned, at least there’s one thing we can control.

Being thankful doesn’t have to be just one time a year. But it’s a start.

— Mike Gilmore