Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself.

Sometimes I think Judas gets a bad rap. Each of us face our days, doing the best we can with what we have. Matthew tells of the story of how Jesus was eating with a friend in Bethany and a lady came to Jesus and anointed him with expensive oil. The disciples were angry with the “waste” of good money that should have been given to the poor. Jesus rebuked them by saying that this act was of special significance. “You will have the poor with you always!”

At this point, Judas goes to the high priests and negotiates with them to turn Jesus into their hands. I don’t know why Judas did what he did. I don’t know what was in his mind. I can, however, think of many times when I thought I was doing the right thing (or at least an innocent thing) and it blew up in my face.

We moved here when I was in first grade, and it seems like I was always trying to figure out how I could find my place in the complex population of the school system. I happened to come into some information about some kids who had gone into one of the churches. They didn’t take anything (other than some of the communion grape juice) but the school was evenly divided between envy of the daring it took to do such a thing and righteous indignation that someone had dared to disturb a church. In an effort to fit into the popular crowd, I told one of those girls what I had heard. Unfortunately, one of the guys who had been involved was sitting behind me and overheard what I was doing. As soon as I realized he was there, I was horrified at what I had done. I had tried to purchase status for the price of another person’s respect.

I think that we all have a memory of a time when we behaved in ways unbecoming of the person we would really like to be. Sometimes we try to forget the incident and pretend it never happened. Usually, however, these memories pop up at the oddest times.

Sometimes we try to justify what we’ve done thinking that this was just a small part of our personal history and there are other, more important things that we’ve done (or not done) and we relegate these moments to the periphery of our lives. Sometimes we spend our lives trying to atone for those moments – either through dedicating our lives to the validation of others or by committing suicide.

I believe that, when Jesus conquered death by rising from the dead, he got in touch with Judas and forgave him in the same manner that Jesus forgave Peter for his denials. In the same manner that Jesus has forgiven me. We are loved beyond measure and love bestows forgiveness.

Becky Gillette is a former teacher, newspaper reporter, and preacher who seeks to take an original approach to life’s lessons. She has recently published her first book, Jessie’s Corner: Something To Think About, which is now available for purchase. Based on several lesser-known scriptures from the Bible, this is a collection of articles which she wrote for a weekly newspaper.