They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Until just now, I didn’t realize that that quote’s source wasn’t the nebulous societal “they” of so many general well-circulated yet unattributed sayings; I assumed it was just another one of those things people say. For me, it comes naturally attached to a tune, from Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger,” and it’s hard to not say it without at least thinking the melody, if not straight busting out into song. (Fortunately for you, something I cannot do in the visual medium of written word.)

Turns out, though, “that which does not kill him makes him stronger” comes from Friedrich Nietchze’s 1888 autobiography, and is echoed in his book of aphorisms. In the almost 150 years since, this quote has been alluded to extensively, in books, movies, songs, t-shirts, inspirational wall hangings, etc. Now I’m very curious how many people know who they’re quoting. 

As with many things, it is not applicable across the board. Some things are just bad. I don’t think anyone would say a broken vertebrae, even after healed, could make someone’s back stronger; a cavity, even after treated, is not better than a whole healthy tooth. A car that’s been in a wreck isn’t going to be in better shape afterwards. A severe allergic reaction will not in fact make someone’s immune system more durable.  

No one should ever offer that idea to anyone in a refugee camp, war zone, or famine area. I’ve ingested some good material about stupid things people say to others in times of stress and trauma, and I put this in the “definitely” category. 

All that said, it is of course absolutely true that some tough or traumatic things that don’t kill us make us stronger. In fact, it makes me feel more positive towards the quote knowing a bit more of the context in which Nietchze used it: he was not saying all suffering leads to inevitable strength, but rather that trouble often provides an opportunity in which to grow. The preceding line reads, “He knows how to turn serious accidents to his own advantage,” which is oddly applicable to why I was thinking about that quote this week anyway. 

October 23rd marked six years (!) since our own “serious accident” when Brian was run over by his seed drill. Remarkably, miraculously, it did not kill him. It also did not make him stronger, physically, and in fact, it made us more aware of many of our weaknesses. In direct opposition to Nietchze’s theory that God is a human construct, however, walking through that valley of the shadow of death brought me to know God in a different, stronger way. We cannot follow God for what he does or how he makes us feel, but for who he is. I don’t think there’s always a “lesson” in suffering, but in this case what didn’t kill us made us stronger in faith, in relationship, in community. That sort of grace bears mention. 

And to abruptly pivot out of the sentimental, it’s K week and I really just wanted to say what doesn’t kale you makes you stronger. Brian is a fan of not being a fan of kale, but it doesn’t hurt him to eat it every now and then. I feel great affection for dark leafy greens; they are notoriously healthful, as well as versatile and delicious. Kale is super nutrient-dense, and a great cold-weather produce option. It won’t kale you, and in fact, it will make you stronger.

Kale & Sweet Potato Chowder

While I’m more than happy to eat a mess of straightforward kale, whether in salad or creamed or however, it’s too easy for my guys to bypass it if it’s on the side. So I threw it into the main dish. Brian also doesn’t love soup so it probably wasn’t my best choice, but our whole family loves sweet potatoes, so it also wasn’t my worst. Whip up a batch of biscuits while the soup simmers, and you are set to go. 

Prep tips: I used milk (surprise), but coconut milk would be a lovely variation for the creaminess. 

• ½ pound bacon

• 1 onion, diced

• fresh sage, minced

• freshly ground nutmeg

• 3 carrots, chopped

• 3-4 cups sweet potatoes, unpeeled and cubed

• 1 quart good chicken broth

• 1-2 cups milk

• a couple handfuls of chopped curly kale

• shredded white cheddar, for serving

Cook bacon in a good soup pot until crisp. Remove from pot; cool and chop. Meanwhile, brown onion in the bacon grease, adding in the sage and nutmeg as well as some salt and pepper. Stir in carrots and sweet potatoes, and cook for a couple minutes. Add the broth, and simmer, covered, until the veg are tender (20 minutes or so). Add the milk and kale, and gently simmer for a couple minutes; taste for seasoning. Serve, topping bowls with the cheddar and bacon.

Amanda Miller lives with her husband, two young children, and whoever else God brings them through foster care on the family dairy farm in Hutchinson. She enjoys doing some catering, teaching cooking classes, and freelancing, but mostly chasing after her kids. Reach her at hyperpeanutbutter@gmail.com.