School is officially back in full swing, and kids all over the States are transitioning back into academic routines. Benson is only 2, so definitely too young for school, but he’s been working on his own major transition the last couple weeks. 

Technically, he and I both have. It’s so fun and rewarding to see your kids growing up ... and also it’s so hard. I’ve been meaning to wean Benson off of his giraffe pacifier, or “Babby” as he calls it, for some time now, but there’s always too much going on to ask more of him at the moment. We often have kids in and out of our home, whether through respite/foster care or just for fun, and helping a toddler share all his space and things is plenty to occupy his mind. Over the summer, in addition to a busy schedule and long days without seeing Daddy, he fully completed potty training (whether inside or outside) and took a train adventure, not to mention broke his head. 

Needless to say, we’ve been pushing it off. He only uses his pacifier for sleeping, so it’s not that big a deal, right? 

Until I took him to the dentist. Benson was an absolute champ, but his teeth weren’t. Something flipped in me, and I decided we were done with Babby. Technically we’ve tried very low-key weaning before, cutting the connection between the pacifier part and the soft giraffe part, hoping the coziness of the familiar giraffe snuggie would suffice. Really all that resulted from that was having to find and reaffix “other part Babby” for months until I gave up and sewed it back together again. 

But I know he’s too old to still use it, and we wanted to make this transition in plenty of time before the baby (and I’ve long since made my own transition out of any “normal” clothes: even T-shirts are getting tighter than I remembered, so our time is running out). So it was the day to be done. 

And then we were. It was only two days’ worth of naptime and bedtime with a few minutes worth of heart-rending sobs and pleads for Babby, and then he was mostly okay. 

At least Benson was okay. Brian and I almost felt worse about it since Benson was so brave/resigned to his fate. Benson was given a pacifier day one in the NICU, and while he was fairly noncommittal about various pacifiers for his first year and a half, he landed on this giraffe paci when I weaned him. Since then, Babby has been The Most Significant Item: irreplaceable and essential. 

Bear, Bass, Moo, and Shark also sleep in the crib with him, but no matter how we tried, they never reached the same elevated relational status as Babby maintained with ease. Bass (pronounced like the fish, don’t ask me why) is even another soft giraffe stuffie, intended to sneakily overthrow Babby’s reign, but he never got close. All the animals might all get lined up, fed pom-poms, given rides, and taken along on various adventures, but Babby is the only one Benson really loves. 

It was an evening just a few weeks ago when Benson got Babby out of the crib prematurely, and we told him to put him back until bedtime. Benson dissolved into dramatic shock and horror, anguishing, “But I NEED Babby! To protect mine mouth, from bears and foxes!” And then, suddenly, Babby was gone, moved away. A constant friend, companion, protector — gone. Going to sleep has definitely been harder for him, but he’s only asked for Babby once after those first two days, even though this last week we had a little boy for respite care who was permanently attached to his own pacifier. 

And now, Mommy’s the one who feels a little sad and nostalgic. I didn’t even give him something in replacement, I just took it away! So as much for myself as for Benson, I promised him giraffe pancakes. I cannot speak the name of Babby out loud, so he’ll never get the significance, but I will. 

Goodbye, Babby. Hello, brave new world. 

Giraffe (Cinnamon Apple & Chocolate) Pancakes 

While there are lots of very cute giraffe snack ideas on Pinterest, I know my own limitations and anything with a face is guaranteed to turn out terrifying. Benson had been asking for pancakes anyway, so I went with my own easy idea that promised the potential of giraffey-ness and the certainty of chocolate. Are they perfectly picturesque? No. Did Benson have fun dropping in the chocolate chunks? Yes. Does he care at all that they are supposed to look like a giraffe in memoriam of his beloved Babby (without mentioning that name, of course)? No, but I do. 

Prep tips: if you don’t have oat flour on hand, consider getting some, because it’s delicious; or also just use all whole-wheat or some white. The turmeric is optional, just for a hint of color.

1 cup whole-wheat flour

½ cup oat flour

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1-2 teaspoons cinnamon

a dash of turmeric

1 tablespoon brown sugar

3 eggs

1 tablespoon peanut butter

1 cup milk/buttermilk

1 cup finely diced apples

chocolate chunks

Combine the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs well, then whisk in the peanut butter and milk; whisk this into the drys. Stir in the apples. Fry in butter in a nonstick skillet, either in rounds or hypothetically the shape of a giraffe head and neck, and before you flip the first time, drop on a few chocolate chunks for giraffe spots. 

Amanda Miller lives with her husband, almost-two-years-old son, and whoever else God brings them through foster care on the family dairy farm in Hutchinson. She enjoys doing some catering, teaching cooking classes, and freelancing, but mostly chasing after her kid(s). Reach her at hyperpeanutbutter@gmail.com.