During her years as a therapist, Jessica Blehm has counseled senior citizens as they navigate the winding road of life’s transitions.
At this time of year, she said that since understanding older people’s concerns may be especially important, she wanted to share some tips to help families during the holiday season.
Blehm, who also is a licensed specialist clinical social worker, sees clients at The Center for Counseling & Consultation, 5815 Broadway.
“For many older people, the holidays are not necessarily filled with comfort and joy,” Blehm said. “Instead, they are isolated and feel as though they have lost their role of being the hub of the wheel.
“In addition, their circle of family and friends is getting smaller; they miss the people who were once a big part of their lives. And sometimes it is a lack of mobility or other physical concerns.”
Cognition problems can play a role because “some older folks aren’t capable of being in the present moment,” she added. “In a room full of people talking about so-and-so, grandma doesn’t remember who so-and-so is.”
The older generation also misses long-time family traditions of gathering at a certain place on a certain day, eating the same menu and unwrapping presents in a particular way.
“In this day and age, many families are more spread out than they used to be and some traditions are no longer possible,” Blehm said. “But there are ways we can soften the blow.
“First, we need to acknowledge that change is difficult and scary for older people. They may be cranky, stuck in their old ways or just plain sad. We can comfort them when we say ‘we are aware of how you feel and want to create some new traditions with you.’”
For example, ask older relatives to outline the steps to making their Christmas cookies. Or suggest they help compile the menu for Christmas dinner. Or suggest a new system for the gift exchange. Or all of the above.
“We also need to be aware that the older generation isn’t always comfortable with technology,” Blehm commented. “This is when you can set up a Face Time call with family members who couldn’t be there. Grandma and Grandpa could actually watch the kids open their presents.”
On the physical side of things, older relatives probably aren’t comfortable sitting in the same chair all day, Blehm noted. “We can recognize this and the older person can decide whether to stay or simply call it a day.
“The mind-body connection is so tied into all this,” she continued. “If I hurt emotionally and/or physically, I might be irritable. We simply need to engage the older generation in activities, while making time to hear their stories – even if you have heard them many times.”
The Center for Counseling & Consultation, a Certified Community Behavioral Health Clinic, 5815 Broadway in Great Bend, serves Barton, Pawnee, Rice and Stafford counties. Professionally trained personnel offer: individual and group therapy; marriage and family counseling; community-support services; community-based services; psychosocial rehabilitation; peer support; and medication management. The confidential 24/7 crisis hotline number is 800-875-2544.
